I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
