i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
