My hand turned me down
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
