the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize