well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
