Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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