He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
