Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
