No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
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