Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
