I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
