who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
