I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
