She's JV to your varsity
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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