did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
