I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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