Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
