theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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