drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
