I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize