Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
