Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize