i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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