my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
In America we eat man semen.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
