so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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