you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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