Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
