I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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