You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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