Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
