But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
