New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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