I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
