i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
