allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
