So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
