you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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