i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
be right there i have to get my cape
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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