I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
