Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
