Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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