Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
