Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
