I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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