Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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