yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
