At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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