No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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