Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
