This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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