All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
