My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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