I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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