she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
