SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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