Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
