Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
why is half of my head shaved?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
