Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize