Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
